Saturday, 11 June 2011

I need to tell you something...

When I was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer, all I knew about it was that two very close friends had both died of it. One almost exactly a year prior to my diagnosis. This obviously made me very anxious and fearful for my long term survival. I was fortunate to discover that my cancer was nowhere near as severe as their's, but the cruel statistics are that only 30% of women diagnosed with ovarian cancer are alive five years later.
Before I really knew I had cancer, prior to my operation, I decided to make my will. I did not want to leave Mr G with a mess to clear up. In with the will form were forms saying what your funeral wishes were, songs, readings, burial etc. Mr G and I did not talk about this. I put everything in a big envelope and told him to open it if I died. The envelope is still sealed.

However, Mr G and I have talked lots. I deal best with things when they are out in the open and I have a 'plan'. Now, I do believe I'm going to be around to annoy you all for many years to come. Despite this, I have talked with Mr G and he knows my views on most of the issues should I become life limited.
I do need to change some of the contents of the sealed envelope. After reflection I have opted for a green burial instead of cremation. My funeral may need to be two hours long because of all the songs I want, so maybe I'll put them on my ipod and then it can be played at the wake you will all attend. You are still requested to wear bright colours to the funeral. I expect some of you will made to feel very uncomfortable by all this. This is the way I need it to be for me.
Yesterday, I had another 'I need to tell you something' chat with Mr G. I told him I did not want to die at home if I could help it. I'm not going to go into all the reasons. They are mine and Mr G is in agreement with me.
My point in this rambling is that Mr G and I have talked about some terribly difficult things before we HAD to talk about them. We can set it all aside as info to be filed. I have no intention of dying for ages. My treatment is going well, my medical advisers are very pleased with me. I am resting much easier though, knowing that there is a plan in case things change.