Sunday, 9 October 2011

A little bit poorly...

Having returned to work, I have been really busy but collected a cold last week. This has now developed into a chest infection. I saw the Out of Hours Service this morning and have antibiotics. It seems strange to have a 'normal' poorly, after all those months under treatment, ever facing the threat of Serious Infections. I actually feel very put out by it, as I felt sure I would be fine once back at work. This was ridiculous given that I work in a germ factory, commonly known as a school!
 I am working hard on my work/life balance. Work, unfortunately, is winning. Not because I am not organised but because there is SO much work to do. I am also tiring very easily so am heading for bed at 8.30 pm, missing much of my evening. I am actively trying to redress the balance, but it will take time. The first promise I made was not to take work home. This has bitten me on the bum this weekend, because if I am not fit for work tomorrow I can't get my data done, as I did not bring home my evidence!! Doh! I have not worked out a way round that one yet.
One successful part of work/life balance has been keeping up with friends! This is a source of great joy, usually preceded with the cry "Look you've got hair!" This completely mystifies those not in the know, as I now have enough hair to style, well, sort of!  I have a cap of silvery, still baby soft hair. I think I will keep the colour natural now, even though I could dye it in February.

I have my assessment for counselling next week. Although I know it will be hard, I recognise I need help to deal with all that has happened. If I look at my life, post treatment for cancer, it is bitter sweet. Bitter, because I don't think I'll ever feel able to draw a line under cancer. Bitter, because I have friends who are dying from the disease. Sweet, because I can enjoy life more fully again. Sweet, because I've been able to play with Rachel, my granddaughter, once again. Sweet, because I'm looking forward to being an active Granny to my two soon to be born grandchildren. Life is bitter sweet always.