Thursday, 26 May 2011

I'm fine...

Honesty they say, is always the best policy. However we Brits are also polite. The required answer to the enquiry "How are you" is generally "Not so bad, and you?" or " Fine, and you?" This was all very well while I still had hair and a relatively healthy complexion. Obviously those really close to me can tell if I'm fine or not quite quickly.
Last week, on a good day, I went to a town where I used to live to see friends, frighten my hairdresser (more later), and run some errands. The friends know me well enough not to bother to ask how I am generally. They were specific, direct and very refreshing. After my visit, I was wandering down the High Street when I spotted a friend from the past. I called a greeting and she came over. She said "How are you?" and I automatically answered "Fine...". This delightful lady, known for her directness, laughed and declared "You are obviously not fine, what's going on?" We chatted for quite a while then about what was up with me, our children, grandchildren all the things ladies of a certain stage of life chat about.
Our encounter made me think though. I do not want to bore people with a litany of my ills, which are many and manifold. I also do not think it's fair to minimise what I am going through. Just because I choose to make light of my condition ( my way of coping) does not mean that I am always fine. Where is the honesty in pretending all is well if it is not? I have set out to be honest and candid in my blog. It stands to reason that I should try to be so in my daily life. So thank you R, you opened my eyes. In future I'm going to say "Today I'm sore, but I'm dealing with it", or, "Today I am fine, today is a good day". That will be the truth.
What did I do to frighten my hairdresser? I walked in, whipped off my sunhat, revealed my bald pate, and said " Can you do anything with this?". To her credit she laughed and said "It'll grow back and then I'll do something with it" I laughed until I cried. Honest!

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