Sunday, 22 May 2011

Bold and bald...

Today I went out in a bandana but my head was so itchy I abandoned it after the first shop. To my surprise, no-one seemed to notice my baldness. This has made me feel a bit ashamed of myself that I should have been expecting comments. Granted we were in DIY shops rather than on the High Street. I have been covering my head all the time, outside the house and garden, prior to this. Some of the reason has been practical, I've either felt cold or have been hiding from the sun. Yesterday my hat blew off, but unusually I had put on a bandana as well, yet I was embarrassed. All this seems to make little sense. I made the decision not to have a wig long before I lost my hair. Having seen those provided on the NHS I am relieved I don't want one. There are a very limited number of colours and styles and they do look awfully like hair hats. I am finding hats more comfortable than the bandanas as they have a bit more ventilation. However my wide brimmed green hat, my favourite, is not suitable for wearing in bed!
My favourite hat.
Keeping my head warm at night was not too much of an issue until after my last chemo. I am feeling the cold much more now, so need to reduce my heat loss. I can pull the duvet over my head but this is not without risk! I've tried wearing one of my 'buffs' but that makes my head itch. A silk scarf tied around my head seemed a good idea but the differentials between bristly scalp, cotton pillow and silk scarf made it fraught with issues. The scarf gripped the bristles, skidded on the pillow and left me half garroted. I was getting frustrated!
I have now found a solution. I have a very soft rectangular scarf that I lay across the top of my pillow which provides a nice draught excluder, but also allows me to pull it over the top of my head if I need it.
Today's experiment has increased my confidence to go out without a head covering. I'm obviously going to be sensible, as the chemo makes me sun sensitive, I shall need to protect my tender scalp. But I'm not going to cover my head just for the sake of it. I'm me, take me as you find me.