Thursday, 17 March 2011

The news is sinking in...

Hmm, so a week and a day have passed since my diagnosis of cancer. As I've said before it wasn't a surprise - I had been warned. The last two days have been really hard, I'm feeling better enough to become frustrated with my slowness and soreness. It has also sunk in that my life is NEVER going to be the same. I will always carry my scar, but also I need to come to terms with the fact that there are no guarantees - no-one can say you are cured for ever, the cancer will not come back. My job now is to live my life in spite of my cancer. I must NOT let my fear, yes fear, rule my life. I've only got this one life and I refuse to blight it with my illness. I intend to do all the fun things I can, get back, as soon as possible, to the job I adore. I have lots of reasons to make me happy; fabulous friends, an amazing husband, gorgeous children and a grandchild (maybe more eventually :-)). Someone described me as stoic - I wasn't last night, in the dark, I was frightened. The face I want to show the world though is not one of resignation, but one of determination, of stoicism. For I am determined to get on and live the BEST life I can. Cancer picked the wrong diva all right!