Am I devastated?
Am I bereft?
Am I furious?
Am I angry?
Have I curled up into a ball and rocked and wept, pulling the blanket over my head?
What difference would it make?
In the scheme of things that is the new path for my life, what difference would that make to how it all ends.
I have incurable cancer. It is however treatable, and I have more than one option open to me. I have time left, I just don't know how much.
This makes me better off than many others.
Over the last three days, I have received so much wonderful support from so many people.
The hospital staff eased my symptoms (eventually) and I was treated with the utmost kindness and dignity.
Friends, in real life and virtually have swept me up and cradled me with love and affection.
Just promise me this, when it really gets ugly, whenever that may be, continue to hold me and Mr G in the same way.
Read The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
If you can do this, then the world will be a richer place, even when I am gone.